


Almost

by ensorcel



Category: Virgin River (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:15:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27892159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ensorcel/pseuds/ensorcel
Summary: He was saying thank you to Hope one minute and the next he was cradling her on the stairs to her home—the one that should’ve beentheirhome—and fishing his pockets in his phone as he whisperedit’s going to be okay, it’s going to be okay,in her ear.Post season one, episode three look into Doc's head and what it means for Hope.
Relationships: Hope McCrea/Vernon "Doc" Mullins
Comments: 14
Kudos: 21





	Almost

He was saying thank you to Hope one minute and the next he was cradling her on the stairs to her home—the one that should’ve been  _ their _ home—and fishing his pockets in his phone as he whispered  _ it’s going to be okay, it’s going to be okay, _ in her ear. 

She was shaking. Vernon was shaking too. He was barely able to punch 911 into the screen. He held on tight to Hope. 

“I’m going to take care of you,” he repeated, looking her in the eye. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened as if to say something. “Going to take care of you.” 

The ambulance came in precisely two minutes and thirty-seven seconds when Hope’s eyes were just starting to flutter closed. 

“Stay with me, okay?” he said, shaking her gently. “Stay with me, Hope.” 

She was so cold. He clutched onto her. 

The paramedics came by their side and Vernon quickly released Hope to their care, watching them as she was lifted onto a stretcher and wheeled into the back and he went to follow—

“Sir, if you’re not family we’ll have to ask to—”

“I’m her husband,” he gasped out. “We’re married.” It wasn’t a lie. The paramedic nodded and he sat down on the bench, grabbing Hope’s free hand. He froze as he watched her eyes lull and her breathing slow as an IV was inserted.

“Hope, it’s going to be okay,” he whispered, clutching on hard. He wanted to hold her cheek, to kiss her, to tell her that he was always going to be here, that he was always here for her, that it was always her, but he lost that right twenty years ago and Vernon just held onto her hand. 

The drive to the hospital was long, longer than expected and Hope passed out halfway there. He tried to tell himself that it was going to be fine, that his hands weren’t shaking, that she was going to be okay, but when they wheeled her into the room, Vernon wasn’t so sure. 

His head fell into his hands as he sat outside of the hospital room, the familiar scent of antiseptic filling the air. His eyes darted to the clock, watching it tick by. There were things he should’ve been doing—surely, there was something for him to do? His hands were shaking. 

Fished out his phone again and dialled Jack. Hope wouldn’t want him to—Hope probably didn’t even want him here, right now, he chuckled to himself darkly—but his call went to voicemail and Vernon just told Jack to call him as soon as he could. Jack was like a son to Hope. The child they lost. 

He probably should’ve also called Hope’s friends, Connie and the other ladies, but it was almost midnight and they didn’t know anything yet—goddamn it, he didn’t know anything yet and there was no point in worrying the whole town. 

But Vernon remembered how cold Hope was and how she fell like a leaf and how small she was and how he had almost forgotten and how it was the first time he had truly held her in nearly two decades. 

How close he was to telling her that he loved her. That he never stopped. 

An hour passed when Jack called back. 

“Hey,” Jack greeted. He sounded busy. “What’s wrong?”

“Why does anything need to be wrong?” Vernon said back, even though everything was very, very wrong. 

“Doc, it’s one in the morning.” 

Vernon sighed. “It’s—it’s Hope. She collapsed and we’re in the hospital right now.” 

The line was silent. There was the crackle of electricity and Vernon thought he heard some hasty rearranging of clothes. 

“My God, I’ll be there right now—”

“Jack, it’s alright. She’s still being treated right now and we don’t know anything. I just wanted to let you know—it’s late. Come in the morning,” Vernon said. He sounded tired. He was tired. He ran a hand down his face. 

Someone tapped him on the shoulder. Vernon whipped around. “Jack, I’ve got to go now—get a good night’s sleep and come in the morning,” he repeated. “She’ll be fine,” he added. Jack didn’t say anything. It seemed like he knew that Vernon was lying to himself. 

“Mr. McCrea?” 

“It’s—” he began until he faltered. “Yeah, Mr. McCrea. Hope’s husband.”

The nurse looked at him kindly. “Your wife had a mild heart attack and she’s resting at the moment, but if you’d like to visit her now, you can. She’s tired.”

But Vernon stopped hearing anything after heart attack. 

God. He felt himself sit down and the nurse looking at him worriedly. “Sir?” 

Vernon waved a hand. “I’ll be fine. You said I could see her?” 

The nurse—Alice, her tag said—nodded. “Thank you, Alice,” he added, remembering his manners. 

The room was very clean and very white and very bright when Vernon walked in, but his wife—separated, he reminded himself—was on the bed with her hair splayed out and her eyes closed and her hands folded neatly over her stomach. 

She was so still. Hope was  _ never _ still. She was always moving, always talking, always around, always with a nose in everyone’s business. Loud, outgoing, sometimes cold, but never  _ still _ . 

Vernon sank into the chair beside the bed. She was breathing softly. If he concentrated enough, he could see the woman he married all those years ago, still asleep while he got up for work, the woman that he would kiss silently on the forehead and leave her a nice breakfast and note to wake up to. 

Her glasses were still perched on her nose and he gently removed them, folding them and placing them on the side table. Brushed her hair out of her face and wished that he had a comb so he could untangle the rest that was flailed out on the pillow. 

Vernon grabbed her hand that didn’t have the IV and held it like he did before. Ran his thumb over the back of her hand, feeling her warmth. She wasn’t so cold anymore. 

He sat there, holding her hand, listening to the clock lull him to sleep. 

“Vernon?” 

His eyes snapped open and he sat up immediately, arching his back and realising that he was much to old to be spending a night in a chair. He was still holding her hand. He leaned forward, trying to see her in the now-darkened room. 

“Hope?” 

She gasped a little, throat clearly dry. There was a sink in the room. 

“Shhh,” he whispered. “Don’t talk.” 

He squinted in the dark and there was a couple of cups in the corner and he fumbled through the drawers until he found a plastic straw. 

“Here, take small sips,” he instructed gently, holding the glass up. She blinked a little, and instead of the expected quip for him to stop telling her to do anything, she drank carefully. He sat back in the chair, placing the water on the table when she finished. 

“Welcome back to the waking world,” he tried to joke, brushing her hair out of her eyes. The moonlight streamed in slightly through the window, bathing them both. Her eyes were wide. 

“What—what happened?” she asked, voice shaky. Vernon looked at her softly. He tried to smile. 

“What’s the last thing you remember?” he asked back, gently holding onto her hand. Hope glanced around. 

“You, you holding me,” she whispered. “My chest hurts.” 

Vernon nodded, squeezing her hand. Her eyes flashed in realisation. 

“You had a small heart attack,” he broke to her softly. You scared me, he didn’t say. _ You scared me so bad.  _

“Oh.” 

Vernon held onto her hand tighter. “But you’re going to be fine,” he added, trying to calm her. Hope nodded.  _ I love you _ , he wanted to say. Wanted to say but couldn’t. “The doctors here are very good at their jobs.” 

He expected her to insult him, to snarkily mention that the hospital doctors were much better than him, but she just nodded and closed her eyes. 

He watched as she slowly fell back asleep and he leaned back into the chair, her gentle breathing lulling him back to sleep. 

“Doc? What the hell? Did you spend the whole night here?” 

Someone shook his shoulder, making him stumble awake. 

“Huh?” 

Jack was standing in front of him, looking concerned. “Did you spend the whole night here?” 

Vernon sat up slowly—he was sure his back cracked. He blinked as the bright lights broke into his vision. 

“Uh, um,” he muttered, running a hand over his face. “Yeah?” he answered, as if it was obvious, because it  _ was _ . He was sure he looked like hell. 

Jack just stared at him. “God, go home. She’ll be asleep for a bit longer, the nurse told me. They just gave her more painkillers.” 

Vernon shook his head, trying to get awake. Jack shoved a coffee cup into his hand and helped him up. “Doc, go home. You’re no use to anyone if you’re the walking dead. I’ll call you when she wakes.” 

Jack stared at him sternly and the ache in his back told him that he needed a hot shower and another cup of coffee. He looked at Hope, who was still asleep. She seemed peaceful. It felt so wrong. Hope,  _ still _ . 

“I came in the ambulance here,” was all he said and Jack just tossed him his keys. 

“Take my car. I won’t be going anywhere,” Jack said and settled into the chair that Vernon spent the night in. 

“Thanks, son,” he replied, patting him on the back. “She’s glad you’re here.” 

Jack just scoffed. The scalding coffee woke him even more and he gave the pair one last look before leaving. Fumbled the keys into ignition and tried not to think about Hope fighting for her life in the hospital. Tried not to think about how quiet she was last night and blared the radio all the way back to Virgin River. 

“You’re in late,” Mel commented as he came through the door. “You also look awful.” 

“So I’ve been told,” Vernon grumbled, hanging his coat up. “I need you to take all the patients today.” 

Mel frowned and crossed her arms. “What happened?” 

Vernon was looking at his schedule, trying to figure out what he could clear. If there was even anything he could clear because he still wasn’t sure how good Mel was at her job. Or at least that’s what he told himself. 

“Hope had a heart attack,” he heard himself say as he hurried upstairs. 

“God, what?” Mel replied. “Is she okay?” 

Good question, Mel. Good question. 

“It was mild,” he said sharply, pausing on the stairs. “I’ll need you to take all the patients for today.”

Mel just nodded and he ran upstairs for a hot, hot shower. 

His office door was closed when he came back down and he didn’t even bother to check if the patients were okay before jumping back into Jack’s car and driving the fastest he ever had back to the hospital. Ran through the doors to reception. 

“Here for?” the bored nurse asked, still staring at the computer. 

“Hope McCrea,” Vernon said, slightly out of breath. “She’s my wife.” He had said that more in the past two days than he had in the past two decades. 

The nurse passed him a visitor’s badge and directed him to the third floor. The elevator ride was long. Had it been this long before? 

Jack was still sitting in the chair when Vernon came in and Hope was still asleep. 

“Nothing new?” he asked, his voice wavering a little. Jack shook his head and got up. 

“Did you even eat?” he asked back. Vernon didn’t say and he just rolled his eyes. “You stay here and I’ll grab us some breakfast.” 

“Thanks,” Vernon replied gruffly, sitting back into the chair that destroyed his back. Held Hope’s hand again. 

The clock ticked away. 

“You scared me so much,” he whispered, bowing his head. “Goddamnit Hope, don’t scare me like that again!” 

_ I thought you were dying. I thought I lost you. You can’t leave me.  _

So many things he wanted to say but wasn’t allowed to anymore. Had no right to anymore, because he was only spouse in name and nothing more. 

She shifted slightly and Vernon feared that she was actually awake the entire time, but she just gave a soft sigh and he gave a sigh of relief. 

Held her hand until she woke up and asked for water and seemed a little more like her usual self, all demanding, all Hope. 

“When can I go home?” she whined, like a child. Vernon chuckled.

“When the doctors clear you,” he replied patiently, taking a sip of his coffee. 

“You’re a doctor,” she pointed out, looking at him sharply. Vernon just laughed. 

“But I am not  _ your  _ doctor so I don’t call any shots here.”

“Not like you did before,” she snapped back. 

He just smiled. Hope looked at him for a while, then smiled. Smiled like she did before, the one that he used to wake up to, the one that if he was lucky enough that day, would see when he made her laugh. So many things he wanted to say but he just took her half-finished water and brushed her hair out of her eyes. 

“Thanks,” she said, looking down at her hands. 

“Of course,” he said.  _ There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you,  _ he wanted to say. Wanted to shout it off the rooftops, that he loved Hope. 

“It’s so damn boring in here. I’m going out of my mind,” she complained. Vernon wanted to roll his eyes. 

“I’m not that lucky,” he quipped, but yes, yes he was because she was still here, still  _ Hope.  _

“Watch it,” she said sternly, wagging a finger at him. “With any luck, you’ll be next in line, with all that extra cholesterol in your system these days. You haven’t cooked yourself a meal in years.” 

He just laughed and watched as she did too and wished that he could kiss her. 

But as he listened to her whine and moan and held her hand, it was enough. 

**FIN.**

> _ “Almost. It’s a big word for me. I feel it everywhere. Almost home. Almost happy. Almost changed. Almost, but not quite. Not yet. Soon, maybe.”  _ —Joan Bauer

**Author's Note:**

> Well, who'd thought I'd be writing het fic! I sure wasn't, but these two were so sweet in _Virgin River_ that I just had to. Pop by my tumblr at [ensorcei](https://ensorcei.tumblr.com/) if you want to chat about Vernon/Hope or give me a prompt! I'm always open for those and if you enjoyed, let me know <3


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